Queersgiving

Queersgiving: What Thanksgiving Really Means in the LGBTQIA+ Community

For many people, Thanksgiving is about turkey, football, and arguing over who gets the last slice of sweet potato pie. But for a lot of LGBTQIA+ folks, Thanksgiving — or as some lovingly call it, “Queersgiving” — means something a little different: chosen family, radical gratitude, and surviving awkward questions from Aunt Gladys again.

Let’s carve into what Thanksgiving means for the LGBTQIA+ community …

1. The Family Table: Sometimes It’s BYOF — Bring Your Own Family

While many people look forward to heading “home for the holidays,” not everyone has that option. Studies show that LGBTQIA+ youth are more than twice as likely to experience homelessness as their non-LGBTQ peers, often because of family rejection.¹ In one 2023 survey, 45% of LGBTQIA+ young people said they seriously considered suicide in the past year — but those who had even one accepting adult were 40% less likely to attempt it.²

That’s why “chosen family” isn’t just a phrase; it’s a lifeline. Queer Thanksgiving dinners are often full of people who decided long ago that family isn’t defined by DNA, but by love, support, and who shows up with mashed potatoes and pronoun respect.

So yes, we’re thankful for gravy, but we’re even more thankful for the friend who brings it in a rainbow crockpot.

2. The Great Pronoun Panic of 2025

You know that moment when someone at the dinner table tries to make small talk and ends up saying something wildly outdated? (“So, are you still doing that… gender thing?”)

Here’s the thing — most LGBTQIA+ people would rather explain how to make a vegan pumpkin pie than have to defend their pronouns over dinner. But research shows that using someone’s correct name and pronouns reduces depression and suicide risk among transgender and nonbinary youth by more than 50%.³

So if Grandma mixes up “they/them,” remind her kindly — and maybe distract her with pie. Because sometimes, love and learning both take seconds.

3. Gratitude, Glitter, and Growth

Thanksgiving is supposed to be about gratitude, right? For many queer folks, gratitude takes on a deeper meaning — it’s not just for what we have, but for how far we’ve come.

We’re thankful for:

• The friend who hosted Friendsgiving before it was trendy.

• The trans elders who fought for visibility when it wasn’t safe.

• The drag queens who remind us that you can be fierce and festive.

• And the allies who ask, “How can I help?” instead of, “Why do you need a parade?”

Science backs this up, too: expressing gratitude improves mental health, lowers stress, and strengthens relationships.⁴ So yes — gratitude really is the best seasoning.

4. Serving Up Activism With a Side of Sweet Potatoes

For many LGBTQIA+ people, Thanksgiving is also a reminder that not everyone’s invited to the same table — in history or in society. That’s why more queer communities are using the day to practice intersectional gratitude — acknowledging Indigenous history, advocating for inclusive spaces, and donating to LGBTQIA+ and Native-led organizations.

Because what’s more in the spirit of the holiday than sharing abundance and making sure everyone gets fed — literally and metaphorically?

5. Queer Tips for Surviving Thanksgiving (and Maybe Enjoying It)

1. Prep your exits. “Oh, I forgot to baste the turkey!” works great when you need to escape a tense topic.

   
   

2. Pack emotional snacks. Bring your best friend on FaceTime or your group chat — they’re your digital dessert.

   
   

3. Make a toast. Even if it’s sparkling water, raise your glass to surviving another year of personal growth (and family group texts).

   
   

4. Celebrate afterward. Host a Queersgiving or Friendsgiving and make it unapologetically fabulous — think gratitude and glitter.

   
   

6. A Toast to Chosen Family

For LGBTQIA+ communities, Thanksgiving is less about Norman Rockwell and more about RuPaul-meets-Rachel Ray. It’s a day to gather, laugh, and be seen exactly as you are — whether that’s in a sequined sweater, a flannel, or both.

Because when you strip away the casseroles and cranberry sauce, Thanksgiving isn’t really about pilgrims or pie. It’s about connection — and that’s something the queer community has perfected.

So this year, let’s pass the gravy and the love. Because no one carves a turkey — or builds community — quite like us.

Feel free to share your thoughts on Socialism as it pertains to education within the LGBQTIA+ community. Every 2nd Monday of the month we will post a blog about the importance of Socialism and suggestions on Social practices. If you have an experience or topic that you would like to share, please reach out to Angel Brown at Angel@iammecorp.org.

References

1. Morton, M.H. et al. (2018). Missed Opportunities: LGBTQ Youth Homelessness in America. Chapin Hall, University of Chicago.

   
   

2. The Trevor Project (2023). U.S. National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health.

3. Russell, S.T., & Toomey, R.B. (2018). “Using Chosen Names Reduces Odds of Depression and Suicide in Transgender Youth.” Journal of Adolescent Health, 63(4).

4. Wood, A.M., et al. (2010). “Gratitude and Well-Being: A Review and Theoretical Integration.” Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7).