A Seat at the Table: What Thanksgiving Really Means When Everyone Is Welcomed

Thanksgiving has always been more than a holiday to me.

It’s a feeling — a mix of good food, loud laughter, and people packed into a house that somehow never feels too full. It’s that one time of year when community sits at the center of everything. And every Thanksgiving, I’m reminded of the way I grew up and how much those moments shaped how I see togetherness.

Memories That Still Warm My Heart

When I was a young girl in the ’90s, Thanksgiving started before the sun came up.

I can still picture myself waking to the smell of sweet potato pies and cakes baking — the kind of aroma that let you know the day was going to be special.

My family didn’t do quiet holidays. We did gatherings.

The house would be filled with people: relatives, neighbors, family friends, and anyone who needed a place to go. And the beautiful part was that when we said “everyone,” we meant it.

That included trans women, gay men, and lesbians who were part of our circle long before I even understood the importance of inclusion. I didn’t need to understand it — I saw it. I felt it.

In my family, they weren’t treated like guests who needed explaining or protecting. They were treated like family:

• Hugged

• Fed

• Included in conversations

• Laughing right alongside everybody

Looking back, I realize how rare that was, to grow up at Thanksgiving tables where acceptance wasn’t a debate; it was a given.

Not Everyone Has a Table That Feels Like Home

As I got older, I realized how many LGBTQ+walk into Thanksgiving holding their breath.

Some anticipate judgment.

Some face cold shoulders.

Some are tolerated, not embraced.

And too many spend Thanksgiving alone because their identity was never welcomed at home.

Thanksgiving is supposed to be a day of gratitude, but it’s hard to feel grateful when you don’t feel accepted.

This Is Why Community Matters

Thanksgiving isn’t about the turkey or the sides it’s about togetherness.

And sometimes that isn’t found in your biological family’s dining room.

Sometimes it’s found in a friend’s kitchen, at a chosen-family potluck, or with people who love you without conditions.

What I learned growing up is that community can be built anywhere.

Love doesn’t need permission.

And belonging should never require explanation.

Thanksgiving Should Feel Like a Safe Place

At its core, Thanksgiving is about:

• Gratitude

• Warmth

• Storytelling

• Sharing

• Feeling seen and valued

Everyone deserves that — especially those who’ve been pushed out of their own families’ spaces.

A simple invitation, a warm welcome, or even a saved seat can mean more than people realize. It can turn a lonely holiday into a comforting one.

Keeping the Spirit Alive

When I think back on those Thanksgiving gatherings from my childhood — the music, the dancing, kids running around, the smell of pies, and the joy ringing through every room — I’m reminded of what the holiday is really about.

It’s about creating a space where people don’t have to shrink themselves to fit in.

Where identity isn’t up for debate.

Where people can show up exactly as they are and feel welcomed, not judged.

That’s the Thanksgiving I believe in.

That’s the feeling everyone deserves.

This Thanksgiving, Let’s Make Room for Each Other

Let’s open our doors a little wider.

Let’s check on those who don’t have a safe place to go.

Let’s make space — in our hearts and in our communities.

Because the true spirit of Thanksgiving isn’t found in perfection. It’s found in people coming together with love, gratitude, and open arms.

Everyone deserves a seat at that table.

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